Sunday, December 27, 2015

2015 Reflections

Every year I write a reflection blog post about the things I experienced or about the main lesson I learned throughout the year. 2014 was all about living my life to the fullest and living in the moment. And I know for a fact I tried my hardest to do both this year.

2015’s lesson: “Love Yourz”. This lesson was brought to me by none other than my fave rapper, J. Cole. With the release of his December 2014 album, 2014 Forest Hills Drive, J. Cole dropped one single gem on me; a gem I’ve needed to hear my entire life.

Ever since I can remember I have always imagined how much better my life would be if I was a different person. As a child I would fantasize about how cool I would be if I had a different name and looked “Latina.” In high school I would visualize myself having a bunch of fancy clothes and somehow equated that with having a better, much cooler life. I used to always look at my life as boring and stale. The crazy thing is I felt this way despite my friends/peers constantly wishing for the brand new car I drove at age 16, the large family I have, and the attractive culture I come from. But that was never enough for me. I always wanted more.

This way of thinking followed me into adulthood. That’s when the desire to be someone else and having a bunch of clothes manifested into other specific things. Things like: if I had more money, if I was friends with certain people, if I lived in a certain place, gave certain guys a chance, and so on. I was never happy with what I had. I always felt everyone else’s life was better than mine because of their appearance or because of the way they lived their lives.

But when I heard J. Cole say:

Always gon' be a bigger house somewhere, but n*gga feel me
Always gon' be a whip that's better than the one you got
Always gon' be some clothes that's fresher than the ones you rock
But you ain't never gon' be happy till you love yours

No such thing as a life that's better than yours
No such thing as a life that's better than yours
No such thing as a life that's better than yours
No such thing, no such thing

And then, my perspective changed.

I often write about how important it is for myself and other creatives to never compare our work to that of our peers. I’ve written a lot about this topic on here because as true as it is, I needed to constantly remind myself not to do it. In writing this, right now, I’ve realized I struggled a lot with comparing my work because I’ve always compared everything in my life. I never once thought about how abundantly blessed I am and how it makes no sense at all for me to be comparing my life or wishing for materialistic things that others have.  

I have always been a person who wants more for myself. And as a child, when I thought my life was boring, I now realize that I did not understand how to use my desire for more as motivation. I used it incorrectly and thought I needed to have certain things to be happy. But as J. Cole said, there is always going to be someone who has something that is better than what you have.

It’s inevitable. So why compete?

 “Your life will always seem somewhat smaller when compared to another person who has more, but that’s only if you compare. Be grateful for what you actually do have instead of chasing all this money and fame, because when you get it you’ll understand how little it matters compared to real love. It’s the human disease greed; never being satisfied, always wanting more. Hence, you’ll never be happy.”

This is the year I truly learned to love mine. While I used to imagine my life being a certain way, I never imagined living the stress free life that I am currently living. I have so much to be thankful for that it selfish and ungrateful of me to wish for a different life.  

Regardless of what others have to say about mine, regardless of how bad or good mine may look, regardless of how hard and exhausting mine may be, regardless of what the next person has and how much better than mine theirs may seem, I will always and forever love mine.

There is no such thing as a life that’s better than mine. And if in fact there actually is, I will never know because I’m living the only life I will ever know here on earth, so I am choosing to love it.

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Cheers to a prosperous 2016, chat with you next year!


  1. I love you and there's no one else I'd rather share this crazy rollercoaster of a life with. I've alwys admired your strength, personality and most importantly your laughter. It brings me so much joy. When you laugh, I always think "things are good. Life is good." It makes me happy. Keep laughing and keeping us in stitches Meeks. I ve you so much!. WE love you so much!!

    1. Love u too. And thanks for being a day one supporter of this blog & everything else I do!