Tuesday, October 20, 2015

Share Your Goals & Dreams With Your Tribe

“If they don’t know your dreams, then they can’t shoot them down.” – J. Cole

Rapper J. Cole dropped this bit of advice on his 2010 mixtape, Friday Night Lights. And I have held tight to those words ever since, as they made so much sense to me. Over the years I’ve heard variations of the lyrics that include, “Don’t let the next man know your moves,” “I don’t tell people my plans, I show them,” and so on. All of which are great and make perfect sense.

However, in recent years my opinion on this has changed, well a little. The thing is, sharing my dreams and aspirations has given me the push I actually need to accomplish them. It’s like, “Okay, well you told people about it, so you better follow through and do it.” 

Maybe it’s a fear of being looked at as someone who doesn’t do what they say or just some kind of weird rush that I experience. But whenever I tell close friends or family about something big I plan to do, I have always been able to complete it.

This was exactly the case when I started planning my move to NYC from Cali. At first, only my mother knew about my plans to move. I remember feeling very iffy about it, so I didn’t tell anyone else. One day at a family gathering, my mom announced that I was making plans to move. I was shocked. I couldn’t believe she was confirming something I was still contemplating.

 But it turned out to be okay because I used that as motivation, and surprisingly I didn’t feel iffy about it anymore. I found the assurance to go forth with my plans and the confidence to tell other people about it. Sharing my plan to move was not only freeing, but it confirmed that I didn’t need to be nervous. So I continued planning and boldly moved forward, and away.

The plan to move to NYC is just one of several examples in which I shared a plan and in turn was able to gain motivation from sharing it. Now I’m definitely not suggesting you run around and tell anyone who will listen what you’re about to do, or what you’re working on.

But I think it is good to share your dreams and plans with those whom you trust, your tribe. That group of people who support you. The ones who encourage you, offer constructive criticism, and ultimately push you in the right direction.


  1. I really enjoy your blog! I look forward to more posts! Also, I nominate you for the SWEATER WEATHER TAG!!


  2. Personally, I agree more with Jermaine. However, I did take notice that you said share your dreams with your "tribe" - family and/or community and that's great. I do think that what Jermaine was referencing was you don't want to tell the general public what you have planned. Too many haters in the world. I remember when I moved to D.C. and told everyone - I was greeted with all sorts of congrats and positive remarks. But I also remember once where I shared with someone who I thought was a friend (at the time) that I wanted to start a book club. What did she say? "Why do you want to do that, that's lame." Needless to say it crushed me and I never sought it out. I think it's a wonderful thing to share your aspirations with people you know will respect them. But I'm not about to share my every move on my timeline either. All the people there are not here to support. It's like Beyoncé: she's past the point of criticism and we never know about what she's working on until it's done. It becomes the world's business when she(I/we) present it as such. Nice article though!