Thursday, September 24, 2015

A Petty Moment

I was thumbing down my Instagram feed and there it was. An acquaintance of mine had posted a picture of her new self-published book. “When did she become a writer?” I asked out loud.

I know how the old saying goes, “There is a story in all of us.” But there are certain things I feel people do nowadays only because it’s popular and trendy; and being a writer is one of them. I am a firm believer of having a passion and a purpose in life. And once you’ve figure yours out, you not only should walk in it, but find ways to master it too.

Take me for example: I have always been a writer and have the elementary school awards to show it, LOL. There has always been something in me that has led me down the path of writing. But because I didn’t pay attention to it, I didn’t realize writing was my passion until my late twenties. And once I figured that out, I hit the ground running. I started my blog, enrolled in some personal essay writing classes, and started reading books on how to perfect my writing. And even now, I’m constantly looking for ways to better myself as a writer because it’s all about growth. My point in all of this is that I have put work into making myself grow as a writer. So when I saw said acquaintance achieve a goal that I’ve been working towards for over three years now, I had a petty moment. 

I got upset because I knew this person knows nothing about writing and doesn’t even spend time working at it. The whole thing upset me and annoyed me to the point that I started to feel all my work was in vain.

This led to a conversation with a good friend of mine who is a photographer. I called her to vent my frustrations and she could totally relate to what I was feeling. We talked about how social media and cell phone cameras make it hard for photographers who have studied and constantly perfect their skills. I was glad to know I wasn’t the only one who has felt this way, and I’m sure I won’t be the last. But it’s hard, especially when I spend many of my weekends in front of a computer writing, while others are out and about doing something society deems fun and interesting. But I write, not because I have to, because I want to. And if I don't do it, it will bother and nag me to no end.

When other spend money on things they find important to themselves, I am doing the same. That means my money is being spent on books and classes to further my education in regards to my passion. In other words, I continually invest in what I love. And that is actually the advice my friend gave me. She also told me, “All the work you put in and years of perfecting your book is going to pay off. Just keep going and don’t worry about the next person.”

Petty moments are bound to happen. But I have to remember them for exactly what they are, petty.  I can’t spend so much time being upset at the next person for deciding to do something in a quicker/different manner than I have chosen. Plus, for every time I get upset at the next person, I’m sure there is someone else out there bothered with the way I am pursuing my dreams too. So there is really no point in me participating in this game of comparison, because that’s really what all this was aboutme comparing my work, again, to that of someone else’s.

Staying focused and worrying about my own path is the key to moving on from this and forward. 


  1. I totaly feel your emotion and why you feel the way you do. We are living in a microwave world, where there's no bar to reach or standard to uptain, in many cases. Where quantity is vauled more than quailty. Anyone can become a professional or an expert. It really does make you think, if all the hard work is worth it. I say it is. I just have to remember that I don't want to be something that goes out with the fad. I want to have longevity. And I want to produce work I am proud of.

    1. "...I don't want to be something that goes out with the fad." I LOVE that! And when said like that, it reminds you to keep going, regardless.
      Thanks for reading and commenting :)

  2. Tamika,

    Thank you for sharing this! It seems like most of my petty moments come from social media and I have to bring myself back down. If we let it, social media will allow you to doubt yourself. I have to remind myself that social media only shows you the "good" and not the "whole truth". BTW, love the photo of Lisa. :)


    1. Hi Jerica!

      You're right. That's why I try to take breaks from social media. Its hard to constantly see "the good" while struggling. Thanks for reading and commenting.

  3. I enjoyed this article as well. Taraji P. Henson recently talked about this in a magazine. She said that plenty of reality stars are entering Hollywood and booking roles when she went to school and practiced to master the craft. Yet, here are the Kartrashians and the Westbrooks calling themselves "actresses" and "models". Viola Davis didn't win for this! Naomi Campbell and Tyra didn't strut for this! But the world is all about how many followers and likes you have.

    Being a professional who is true to the craft is such a difficult thing to do. You start to look at the number of followers you have and wonder why these overnight "celebs" are getting more shine then you. Like Iris said, they are all fads. Beauty fades ma, talent is forever. After a while your numbers become stagnant because the world knows what you look like while our numbers will increase because the world hasn't yet experience the beauty of true art