Tuesday, July 22, 2014

When Women Get Desperate For Love- Should We Settle?

When it comes to our hair, nails, education and career us women demand the best for ourselves. Yet for some reason when we hit our late 20's and early 30's desperation for our mister right makes us settle for a random mister right now. Why do we do this? If we are not compromising on other things, why compromise on the person we intend to spend the rest of our lives with?

Even though we know settling is not ideal, many of us go through a phase where we contemplate settling or we willingly decide to settle. One of the main reasons we do this is because everyone around us is either in a relationship or is married. Instead of waiting for or seeking out the man we want, we get desperate and enter into relationships just to say we’re in one.

The question of settling hit me hard at age 27. Around this time all my friends and family started getting married and having children. It was like I missed some magical boat that picked everyone up and dropped them off to their husbands.

I started to question myself and wondered if I was doing something wrong. Even worse, I start to think something was wrong with me. Thoughts of “I’m getting older,” and “I’m going to be alone forever,” often filled my head.

I stressed myself out by wondering when it would be my turn. Getting fed up with these feelings and bouts with low self-esteem, I considered giving in and entering into relationships with guys I knew were not right for me.

The choice to do this weighed heavily on me because I was surrounded by relationships and marriages. I felt awkward when I would run into old friends who would ask, “Are married YET?” Yet? As if a deadline was rapidly approaching. As I grew order I found out I wasn’t the only woman hunted by this imaginary deadline.

Realizing that I wasn’t alone in this and that other women experience the same feelings is what gave me the strength to continue not to settle. A relationship, love, and marriage will happen when they are supposed to. Sure, at times it’s difficult to see everyone else moving on and experiencing different things in their personal lives. But I just can’t see myself lowering my standards in order to be in relationship or be married.

As with anything in life, it’s hard waiting for something to happen. I know my path is different than those around me and I owe it to myself to only be with the man I desire. I want to be completely comfortable with my husband.

I don’t want to be married to a man who I settled for, only to constantly wonder what my life could have been if I would have waited for the man I actually wanted.

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