Saturday, November 5, 2011

Ladies! Lets Get It Right The FIRST Time

I’ve watched the show "Keeping Up With The Kardashians" since it first started I am very familiar with the role that each family member plays. Right from the start Kim has always been the hopeless romantic. The show and it's spin-offs chronicled Kim relationships with Football players Reggie Bush and Miles Austin. After seeing how these two relationships played out and seeing Kim’s response to the quick wedding of Khloe and Lamar, it seemed to me that Kim was desperate to get married to anyone who was willing.

Before meeting Kris Humphries, Kim had her wedding day all planned out and literally could have inserted any guy into the equation. Now I am not saying that Kim and Kris were not in love because I don't know them. But I think Kim let her fantasy of marriage cloud her judgement of Kris. I also think she was so focused on having the actual wedding event, that she did not stop to get to know her then, soon to be husband.

Whether you feel Kim's marriage was a publicity stunt or not is your own opinion. But I don't think it was fake, I just think Kim rushed into it. Hopefully she learns from this experience and takes things slowly in her next relationship. I wanted to touch on this subject because 72 days after Kim and Kris were married, Kim filed for divorce.

What happened to Kim can definitely happen to the rest of us women. There are many successful women that are in the same place as Kim. They are independent and can survive on their own but are desperate to get married. However, women have to realize that even though you have achieved a certain level of success, once in a marriage you have to change certain things in your life and compromise with your husband. You can not live life as you once did before.

In every marriage participants have to realize that they are now ONE in everything, including money. I think this concept of becoming one and compromising is where so many marriages go wrong today. But I understand why the concept would be missed, it's because many people enter into marriage without even understanding the purpose and sanctity of it. Before walking down the aisle, I think couples should go to marriage counseling or have serious conversations about how their lives will change once their married.

It's obvious that women and men see things differently so having conversations with your mate before marriage will help you learn one of the following:
1. Yes, me and him are on the same page, I still want to marry you.
2. NO, this is not going to work because one of us is not ready for this type of commitment.

I am not saying Kim's divorce was all her fault but had she taken some time to think, maybe things would have worked out differently for her. Women have to set aside the fantasy aspect of what they think their marriage will be, and focus on how they will do their part to make it work and last. These things are important to consider FIRST, BEFORE THE WEDDING! That way you don't find yourself getting divorced after 72 days of marriage.

"We ladies have to stop drafting dudes into the perfect picture. Everybody aint for everybody. I don't care how nice and humble he is..."  -Tionna Smalls

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