Friday, May 13, 2011


Loyalty... The dictionary defines it as: a sense of duty or of devoted attachment to something or someone. In the last couple of years loyalty in friendships has come to the forefront and has been the most important characteristic that stands out to me when getting to know new peopleSeeking this characteristic is something that came with growth, change, and several different learning experiences.

I grew up in a small suburban community where I lived from age 8 to 19. The friendship I formed when I was in Elementary School literally lasted me until I graduated from High School and beyond. These relationships had time to grow and loyalty was something that came along with time.

Throughout the years, friends have come and gone for various reasons. But it wasn’t until a little before my 25th birthday that I realized I needed to start choosing my friends more wisely. Different situations that happened around this time clearly showed me who was a friend and who was an associate. Looking back, I guess this was when I really started to change my perspective on certain things in my life. It was never clear to me before, but I was starting to see that the people around me were not loyal. Yet I could not figure out why I was always making myself available for people that were never there for me. Constantly being there for people that were not returning the gesture was not fair to myself.

In 2008 I made the conscious decision to let go of several people that I thought were my friends. It was hard at first because I often found myself home alone on the weekends with no one to talk to or hang out with. I questioned myself several times, tying to figure out if I had made the right choice. The only thing that kept me secure with my decision was knowing that no one could look out for me better than I could look out for myself. In other words, this was something I HAD to do for me.

Giving someone the title of friend will continue to be something I take very seriously. It will be done very cautiously because being a friend is more than just hanging out and talking on the phone. In my opinion it’s about building memories, and being there for each other through the good and the bad. Amongst other things, it also includes not talking about that person behind their back and defending them when they are not around to do so themselves.

To some it may seem like I require a lot of my friends or that I have a high unachievable expectation, but that is not the case. It’s important to me that my circle be a tight- knit group of individuals who are loyal, honest, trustworthy, and dependable; and I don't feel that is too much to ask for.

Having loyal people around you may be hard to obtain but as I often have to remind myself, everyone can not be what I want them to be. Which is why I chose to let go of bad and hurtful friendships. Holding on the negative things in your life is not healthy, including so-called friends. Having a lot of people around you may seem like lots of fun but it's not always the best thing. Quality is always better than quantity.

“As we grow up… we begin to realize it becomes less important to have more friends and more important to have real ones.” - Unknown


  1. I am a firm believer you force people to act the way you need them to. If they can't or won't they will weed themselves out and away from you. This may sound selfish but I believe we are all responsible for our own happiness, not our friends happiness and not our families happiness. How can we make anyone happy and we ourselves are not. It must all start from within. Part of growing up shows us to take control of our lives and responsibility for the decisions we make. This world we live in makes it too easy to push blame and not look in the mirror. At the end of the day we are responsible for what we see when we look in that mirror.

  2. This BLOG seems like its right up Pepinoquevas's alley!
    Good Job Miks